Life

dysfunction · Post by **dysfunction** » Fri 03 Feb, 2006 3:18 am

Any of you guys considered therapy? I don't think it would work for me; I prefer to keep my feelings to myself, examine them rationally, then deal with them, which usually works. I ask myself "Am I this kind of person? Or this kind?" While I'm not always happy with the answer, at least I'm not deceiving myself. You guys should try this first; go over all your problems rationally. Ask questions about yourself. If you determine the problems come from outside, or are unable to determine solutions to your internal issues, then you should probably see a therapist. This is general advice for all you guys with problems, DA, Kevin, Bram, CDI, Patrick S, you're all my friends, some of you are pretty close friends, and I don't want to see any of you give up without examining all your options.

Post by **tr1p1ea** » Fri 03 Feb, 2006 3:21 am

No-one should ever have to apologise for how they 'feel' ... so no need to Kevin

.

I really do hope that things work out for those who are feeling down.

Arcane WIzard · Post by **Arcane WIzard** » Fri 03 Feb, 2006 1:13 pm

Actually, I don't think (forcing) rational thought works very well with emotional issues. Why? Because any rational questions can be answered with things like "who cares if it's not all that bad, it still fucking hurts" and it'd be true because how things feel to you is just as, if not more, important as the same things from an objective point of view. It does work sometimes, and if it works for you then all the more power to you.

What I find does help is gather energy for a different point of view, and/or just generally gather energy so you can appreciate things more and positively influence your mood that way. Which in turn influences the way you'll deal with your problems. No I don't think that nessecarily means more rational solutions, because in my experience happiness and enjoying things can be just as irrational as sadness and not enjoying things.

Either way, if you want happyness and all that stuff, you'll have to hang in there and work on it like the rest of us.

Post by **DarkAuron** » Sat 04 Feb, 2006 8:59 am

I went into a state of shock after finding out one of my best friends killed himself on Sunday; I found out Tuesday night. I've been trying to help him for awhile, but I mistakengly ticked him off, and he did it. Now I feel as if trying to care about someone will end up in omen. Drew has only added to that feeling.

Speaking of Drew, he didn't respond too well to my empty state on thursday. In fact, he flamed me for it. He told me that I had no reason to suddenly change my mood and that I was being childish, that it wasn't depression causing it. Bullshit and bullshit over and over.

That night I called him and told him why I was so screwed up, and what had happened. Then I said goodbye and hung up on him. He tried getting Wesley to get me to call him back but I refused. He said he'd talk to me the next day (Friday; it's Saturday as I'm typing this)

Well on Friday, he never did talk to me. I ended up having to call him earlier tonight.. (I was talking to a friend on AIM about this):

(21:36:36) DarkAuron: I just got off the phone with drew
(21:36:38) DarkAuron: oh yes, more drama
(21:36:41) DarkAuron: but it's finally over.
(21:36:54) DarkAuron: I broke past his begging
(21:37:02) DarkAuron: I ignored his offer to have a long talk this weekend
(21:37:21) DarkAuron: he said he's sorry
(21:37:22) DarkAuron: several times
(21:37:29) DarkAuron: I said it didn't matter, that I have no reason to believe that
(21:37:31) DarkAuron: and he says he understands
(21:37:40) DarkAuron: then I said I don't think he understands
(21:37:44) DarkAuron: and he said "but this time I really do"
(21:37:45) DarkAuron: .....
(21:37:57) DarkAuron: I asked him why he keeps trying
(21:37:59) DarkAuron: and he said because
(21:38:02) DarkAuron: I asked because why?
(21:38:06) DarkAuron: and he said because again
(21:39:10) DarkAuron: so I said "all you keep doing is saying because, because you don't have a reason, you're trying to make up one so you can lure me back in. you're pathetic."
(21:39:32) DarkAuron: at one point I asked why he keeps doing this to me, he said he doesn't know
(21:39:38) DarkAuron: and I asked what I ever did to him, and he said nothing
(21:39:56) DarkAuron: he also stated that I have no idea what an asshole he feels like right now
(21:40:04) DarkAuron: I said "yeah, I don't, and I have no reason to care how you feel"
(21:40:27) DarkAuron: so I tried ending it with "well drew, I hope you don't ruin anyone else like you have to me; goodbye."
(21:40:33) DarkAuron: but he was like "no, NO! michael.."
(21:40:43) DarkAuron: then he said a bunch of stuff
(21:40:54) DarkAuron: and he says he wants me to believe him but he understands why I won't
(21:41:24) DarkAuron: I gave a final "it's over drew, just stop trying. goodbye." and he started trying to get me to stay on the phone, but I hung up
(21:41:35) DarkAuron: so yes, it's over.
(21:47:07) DarkAuron: it's finally.. over.
(21:47:17) DarkAuron: *lets out a sigh of relief*

Drew is an abusive guy. He also asked for 'one more chance', but I denied that. I've given him so many chances that I think I couldn't count them even if I recorded them. I'm sick of dealing with this. He keeps luring me in, making me feel better and we fix a few problems, then he starts up with his bullshit again. Over, and over, and over, and over.. it has to stop, and I finally decided to end this all. And to add to it, I made sure I'll be moving my assigned seat in chemistry so I won't be sitting next to him anymore.

In the end if he wants me as his friend, he has to prove to me that he's not going to be manipulative. But that in itself could be misleadingly manipulative, and I'm not willing to take that risk anymore. It's all over with. He may think that right now I'm just heated up, I'll calm down and try to repair things, but I won't. I'll just leave him in the cold, and honestly he deserves worse. I don't care if he ends up crying himself to sleep every night now, that's his problem not mine. I've got better things to worry about.

Part of me burns inside because I already miss him, but I'll get over it. I feel relieved and proud because I've done something few victims have managed to do: seperate and escape. I can't give any more chances to him, he's done too much damage, and that is why I'm getting away from all this. I've realize he's not worth fighting for, because the price to pay is too high.

Thus ends the epic drama of Drew and Michael. *plays sad piano music*

Post by **tr1p1ea** » Sat 04 Feb, 2006 9:08 am

That is terrible news about your friend, its chicking when somebody takes their own life. I hope you arent partly blaming yourself at all. It left me wondering when the bad news would end for you.

On the flip-side its good to see you are moving on from Drew. You're a strong willed and courageous person, quite frankly you deserve better.

dysfunction · Post by **dysfunction** » Sat 04 Feb, 2006 12:42 pm

Glad to see you're doing better. I'm sure you'll find true friends who won't treat you like that.

DJ_O · Post by **DJ_O** » Sat 04 Feb, 2006 2:14 pm

aw that sucks about your friend

too bad this had to happen

I hope things will be better for you soon

kalan_vod · Post by **kalan_vod** » Sat 04 Feb, 2006 7:16 pm

Well this isn't the best thing to happen for you, your friend leaving, but at least you are finnily getting over drew. You made the best choice you could've made. I am happy for you and hope that you will not consider your friends death as being your fault.

necro · Post by **necro** » Sun 05 Feb, 2006 1:01 am

is pleanty more fish in the sea the correct term? good to see you're going fishing then, you know...give a man a fish and you feed him for a day, teach a man to fish...errr

, is that how it goes?

and you can't read to much into things or let anything weigh you down because falling is easier than standing, but getting up is the hardest thing of all (aside from DDR)

threefingeredguy · Post by **threefingeredguy** » Sun 05 Feb, 2006 2:59 am

I'm glad to see you've ended it. Since it's over, you can move on and be happy. Best of luck in the future.

the_unknown_one · Post by **the_unknown_one** » Wed 08 Feb, 2006 5:53 pm

Sucks that one of your best friends killed himself, man. Really sucks... I'm glad that u got away from Drew though, you need to move on man, Drew isn't good for you. Well, that's my opinion. And I understand your mood swings, I have them myself too alot, one moment feeling fine as a dime, other moment feeling low as a do (anyone who studied music at a music school should know what I mean). Anyway, it'll get better when you're going to college and get out of that darned house. I'm sure it'll be the same for me, but sometimes I really can't take the shit anymore... Been going better now for a while, but it's still hard. Especially at moments when the people i like/love aren't friendly towards me for no particularly good reason, I feel like I want to die. Curse this evil, twisted brain I have... And I don't want to get therapy, dysfunction... Just can't do it. And tfg, Drew isn't his only problem. He's got huge issues at home too, and such. He just needs to get away from there, and we have to support him.

necro · Post by **necro** » Wed 08 Feb, 2006 6:15 pm

I ve found one thing always makes me feel better when I feel down...explosives...they sizzle and smoke, then they go BANG! I love em...loads of fun to make and explode, great stress reliever. You ought to try it...also, don't let things stress you out. When people push you, don't be afraid to push back (not as inviolence...like yelling or putting tacks or superglue (greatest prank ever) on someone's chair or fill a bucket with chalk dust and put it over a door or remove a screw from a chair

CompWiz · Post by **CompWiz** » Wed 08 Feb, 2006 7:44 pm

necro wrote:I ve found one thing always makes me feel better when I feel down...explosives...they sizzle and smoke, then they go BANG! I love em...loads of fun to make and explode, great stress reliever. You ought to try it...also, don't let things stress you out. When people push you, don't be afraid to push back (not as inviolence...like yelling or putting tacks or superglue (greatest prank ever) on someone's chair or fill a bucket with chalk dust and put it over a door or remove a screw from a chair

you know, these aren't the best solutions. But they are fun.

Arcane WIzard · Post by **Arcane WIzard** » Wed 08 Feb, 2006 10:17 pm

I would recommend more mature ways of dealing with things.

dysfunction · Post by **dysfunction** » Thu 09 Feb, 2006 1:41 am

These sorts of things may relax you for a few hours or a day, but your problems will come right back unless you actually deal with them.